How my gender reveal was ruined

by Kallen

 

This post doesn’t have much to do with parenting, it’s more about a grudge I carry.
When I was around 20 weeks pregnant with our baby, we went in for the typical gender ultrasound. We were dying to find out the gender of our first child, although I was sure it was a boy. We had a plan, a party, and the gender in a sealed envelope.
My mom had agreed to make a cocoon shaped pinata and fill it with pink or blue butterflies, candy, and other little things. We carried around that envelope with the ultrasound burning a hole in it for two days before the party. I was consumed by it for those days. Then when we gathered with our families, I passed it off to my mom who retreated to a bedroom to fill the pinata. Here’s where the trouble starts.
My nephew, at the time, was 7. He’s nosey, outspoken about things that his parents have a strong opinion on, even if he’s too young to understand (i.e. abortion), and not always the best listener. I get it, he’s 7.
Anyway, we told him to stay away from the room my mom was in. Repeatedly. He, of course, spied on her. After learning the gender, he immediately ran to tell my husband. After whispering in my husband’s ear, he received a kind, but firm, direction to not tell anyone else. At which point he shouted to everyone in the house that it was a girl. Since it was a beautiful July day, half the party was outside and therefore hadn’t heard the suspense-ruining news. Then, since everyone inside was pretending that they hadn’t heard, he ran outside to let the rest of them know.
After everyone had been informed, I told him that his pinata breaking privileges were revoked. He cried and apologized and I relented in the end. I tried really hard not to let this effect my feelings because I didn’t want my sweet girl to feel like my disappointment was due to learning her gender. It wasn’t. I was thrilled to be having a girl, but was totally devastated to have lost such an exciting and important moment.
I carry this with me despite the fact that my daughter is almost one and a half. It’s taken a huge toll on how I (and my husband) feel towards my nephew. I wish I could let it go. Right before my daughter was born, I got in contact with people to whom I owed forgiveness and let them know they had been forgiven, all in an effort to start the new chapter of my life without hate. I can’t let go of this. I want to, but I guess I don’t know how.
Next time, we’ll be doing the cake reveal or something, something that doesn’t allow for this kind of error. Or maybe we’ll just find out the foolproof way, and wait until they’re born.

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Do I look like I’m holding back tears? I definitely am. Huge disappointment+hormones= crazy sobbing pregnant lady

Kiwi Loves His Girl

 

by Shanna

After a few days of care, Kiwi has grown to love Horse Girl! He is completely comfortable with her.

Because she is unschooled she was able to care for it day and night without interruption. She did a lot of research, and she learned a lot about responsibility, and letting go. This same day (since he had regained his ability to fly) she let Kiwi free. We put a hummingbird feeder in the yard, and we’ve seen him a few times since!

Kiwi the Hummingbird

by Shanna

My oldest girl (“the horse”) found a flightless hummingbird trapped in our garage. She is truly an animal whisperer, and was able to scoop it up calmly in her hands!

This video was taken a couple days later, after he regained his flight ability.

Part of the beauty of unschooling your kids is the freedom it brings. Unlike most schooled children, my unschooled children don’t do any repetitive memorization, but they do in depth research and problem solving every single day! I believe it’s much more beneficial to learn HOW to learn than WHAT to learn.

She is now a hummingbird expert!

Intro

Hi, I’m Kallen. I’m the new blogger that was mentioned in yesterday’s post. I’m 24, have one daughter who is 15 months, and I’ve been married for almost two years. My daughter is an extremely active and brave toddler. She has zero caution, preferring to jump wildly off a jungle gym whether or not there’s someone there to catch her. While her antics are trying at times, I believe that her bravery is based off the secure trust she has in her father and myself. We’ve been practicing attachment parenting, although I absolutely despise that term. I would instead prefer to call it traditional parenting (or some variation there of) since in the scope of history, things like formula and cribs haven’t been around very long. We breastfeed, and plan to let her self wean. In spite of a really rough beginning, she’s never had any formula. I even have a breastfeeding tattoo (among others).

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This is right after it was done.
We bedshare and adore it. It helps everyone get way more sleep. Even though she sleeps horizontally and punches and kicks us all night, we love having her nearby. She’s cloth diapered, does baby led feeding (weaning), and is unvaccinated. I had her at home, and wouldn’t do it any other way. It was such an amazing, peaceful event. I hope to birth outside under the stars next time. We’re in the process of planning and building an earthship. (Check out why here http://www.highexistence.com/10-reasons-why-earthships-are-fing-awesome/ ) We currently live in Phoenix, but are looking at land in Holbrook for the earthship. We don’t spank, or yell, although I’ve definitely been known to lose my temper. I’m not perfect, I’m just trying my best. I do daycare for a boy who is 9 months. It’s a good arrangement since we needed the money, and I take my daughter with me. I wish I could go back to being a SAHM though. I miss it being just us during the day. I’m only doing it until September though because that’s when we’re moving to build the earthship.
I am willing to answer any questions, and I plan to do posts on most everything mentioned above.

Big Changes Coming Soon!!

By Shanna

I’ve been so absent recently. Sorry about that! There have been some major changes in our household, and I’ve got to tell ya… it’s been no picnic!

My husband and I were going through a rough patch, mainly due to his PTSD.  Now, I’m not blaming him!  He, and many other soldiers, fought bravely to serve our country.  Whether you agree with the reason we went over there or not, the fact remains that our soldiers gave up large parts of their lives, time, other opportunities, mental health, some… body parts, some… their very lives. They sacrificed for America.  Was the war necessary?  Who’s to say?  That’s not my point.  Was their sacrifice and service to their country an honorable thing to do?  Absolutely.  Support our military, and especially the ones who are “rough around the edges” and harder to love because of the traumas and stresses of war!  Support them, always!

Stepping down from the soapbox now…

 

Anyway, we had been going through some huge changes.  I’m still not 100% comfortable putting my entire life’s vulnerabilities on a weblog, but let’s just say that if it weren’t for the goodness of family, we’d have been homeless for the past year and a half.  Life wasn’t just giving us lemons; it was chucking them at us at 60 mph, and laughing in our faces. Through this past 15 months or so we’ve learned to stop ducking and start catching, squeezing with all our might, mixing with sweetness, and BAM… lemonade! 🙂

 

We’re buying a house!  Well… we’re trying to.  My awesome realtor found us a great deal on a simple, small, clean home with a .5 acre yard.  I’m very excited, and hopefully it goes through.  Closing date is May 2.  I’ll let you know!  If we can get into our own place I can promise lots more pictures and videos of our adventures in unschooling, gardening, parenting, DIY fixes, and much more.

Plus, I’m adding a new blogger to our NGP site! She’ll introduce herself soon.  Peace ya’ll! ~Shanna