My goal as a parent is to raise a kind, well adjusted adult. Just like lots of parents. I think it’s so important to be a good example, because you are. Always. I’m hyper conscious of the fact that my daughter is always watching me. This has been illustrated most recently by her attempts to pinch my chin after watching me pop a zit. Gross right? Also really painful to be continuously punched by tiny fingers. I try to set a good example in everything I do, emulating the qualities I want to see in her. I try to focus on the fact that I’m raising an adult not raising a child. I want her to do the right thing because it is right, not for fear of pain or punishment; it’s why we’re a punishment free household. No spanking, yelling, or other forms of discipline. I’m not perfect, I yell on a rare occasion. It’s hard to rewire your brain. Our society touts spanking as the only way to “control” your kids. But I don’t want to control her. I want to foster her wonder and joy in life. I frequently think of something Adam Sandler says in Big Daddy (I know, excellent parenting resource right?) Anyway, he says something like do whatever you want, and I’ll show you some cool stuff along the way. While I definitely don’t let her do whatever she wants, I let her do probably 85% of whatever she wants. As long as it isn’t overly dangerous or disruptive, I don’t mind, and I show her lots of cool stuff along the way!
To me, this is what parenting is supposed to be. I must be doing something right because at 16 months, my daughter is kind, gentle, says thank you without promoting (sometimes), is helpful, outgoing, cleans up after herself, etc etc. I’m a very proud mom, both of her and of myself.