Shaming

By Kallen

I’m a skinny mom. It’s true. You wouldn’t believe the amount of shame those words bring out in me. Although everyone wants to be thin, I somehow feel that it’s unacceptable to admit. I’m not allowed to point out the obvious, that it’s bragging. I know I’m not alone in these feelings, recently I’ve noticed that other skinny moms are starting to fight against the hate that people spew at us.
Fat shaming is frequently talked about. We fight against the mainstream version of beauty, and argue that photo shop is the magazine equivalent of athletes using steroids. This is a fight worth fighting, don’t get me wrong. The message we need to be focusing on though, is loving yourself and being the healthiest you can be, no matter the size. Frequently, in the effort to empower heavier women, we shame the skinny ones. Most people are familiar with the meme that reads “real men like curves, only dogs go for bones.” Yes, great! Curvy women are beautiful! But why does that need to be followed up by the skinny slam? And what about the men who like thinner women? They’re automatically “dogs”? Suddenly, both thin women, and the men attracted to them are deemed wrong or bad when the original intent (I assume) was to comment on how attractive women can be at a larger size.
I can’t even tell you how often I’ve heard things like “I hate you, you’re so skinny.” It’s always said in a “loving” way, and that makes it even worse. What if I were to go around saying “I hate you, you’re so fat”? That’s somehow unacceptable. Everyone wants to complain about being fat, but no one wants to hear about you being thin. My clothes not fitting because I can’t stop losing weight because of breastfeeding is just as annoying as it is when you gain weight and nothing fits. I hate being five pounds away from being underweight, my bones stick out at weird angles. I’d love to have some mama cushion for my daughter to sit on while I hold her instead of feeling like I’m impaling her with my hip bone. The worst thing about comments like that is the total lack of acceptable responses. I end up stuttering over something about good genetics, when in reality that’s not all there is to it. It definitely helps, it’s set me up with a good start, but I eat well and take care of myself. My genetics actually work against me, because I need to put on weight and I can’t. I know, I know, poor me right? But it’s hard, and annoying! Being unheathily skinny is no better than being unhealthily fat.
I know most people who read this well write me off. “It’s not that bad”, you think I’m complaining just to complain, or that I want reassurance on how beautiful I am. That’s not it at all. There shouldn’t be any reason why I’d need to be ashamed to be thin. I know I’m not alone in that. I guess the point is, instead of building yourself up by hating on other people, let’s focus on everyone’s beauty, and being your healthiest, happiest you.

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